A new state of mind…literally
The death of the Q 6th Castle and the Social Cost Series
Since my last post, I can say my life is characterized by this one word: Growth.
Overall, the stint of leaving journalism behind for a few months. I made the time to work in a hospital, transporting patients with different backgrounds and a wealth of knowledge. I also had the opportunity to learn what causes the human body to shut down, and how nurses and doctors work together so they can implement the best recovery plan for all patients to heal and go home. Every day as a patient transporter, I knew I was making strides toward a new purpose, but I also knew that it didn’t seem suitable for me.
I could remember my first month being in the job, there was this man who worked in the same department who came to me at my table during a break and he asks where am I from. From my time of spectating and getting a feel of certain coworkers, he was the one who barely spoke to anyone — for him to speak to me had to be something was wrong, right?
After he asked where I am from, he then said, “You don’t seem like you’re from here. You don’t seem like you’re supposed to be working here.” Then he asked, “So you’re going to school?” That’s where I gave him my spill of what I was trying to do, and what I’ve done, but then I realized afterward I knew something wasn’t right. So he showed me what he did in Africa as an economist. He was on NBC Kenya, and several other major news networks sharing with the world about the economy. He told me, “don’t tell anyone, because I like to keep my private life separate. I am just working here because my…” And he stopped when someone else came into the breakroom. A couple of hours later, we had broken at the same time again, and I showed him my news reel. Immediately he said, “Oh no! Is this what you’ve gone to school for? You need to go back to do this now! You don’t need to be working here!” I paused, and at that moment all I could do was respond, “yeah, yeah…I know.” And then I packed my belonging back into the refrigerator, and left slightly upset, overthinking about my career existence. I felt that day was the beginning of a sign of something wasn’t right.
A couple of months later, I began to show up for a few minutes to work. On the days I worked, all I did was work and went back home to sleep and repeat. My life was getting mundane, unless tragedies were happening in the hospital — excitement outside of work was rare. I thought I was reaping from the social cost of doing something out of my norm and becoming a nurse. I made every stride to get there. I’ve applied to school, checked out books, got CPR certified, and even had multiple conversations with nurses about school and their experiences. But, for some reason, I felt something was off.
Long story short, what I am trying to say is now I believe I am onto reaping a harvest that is working now. I don’t know how the future is going to happen, but for a good reason I know I am on solid ground. Now personally there are some kinks I need to allow Yahusha to work on me, but for the most part, I believe this new position is leading me to my next journey. Honestly, it’s a challenge, but I know the experience is going to be rewarding.
I guess the social cost fallacy all aligns with how resilient we are — hmm.
I am looking to keeping you all updated.
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